The title of this post is from a song by the Old Crow Medicine Show. If you haven’t heard it, you can’t consider yourself a true North Carolinian. 😉
I made it…tired, but here. Things in the house seem good. Resigned. I think they’ve eased into this new life and are doing well. Mom seemed great! She waltzed in the door in her new wig looking like Gina Gershon (see pic to the left). I can definitely tell it’s a wig, but she’s also had the same hair style for my entire life, so it’s easy to tell the difference. I think if she were a stranger, I wouldn’t notice. It’s a nice one.
I’m sure some of you are also following mom’s blog. I’m glad she’s updating there…I know it’s easier to write things down once and have it done.
She wrote there, and told me when I got here, that they were pretty sure they were not going to get the biopsy results back tomorrow for her scheduled consultation. It’s been two and a half, if not three weeks now. That’s ridiculous. They can’t begin treatment until they have the results because they don’t know which one to use. The reason that they don’t have it back yet is because there’s a company that holds a patent to this particular test, so obviously they have a huge queue of people waiting for the test. How awful is that?! We’ve been talking about copyright and patent in one of my classes this semester, and I totally understand that people need to be compensated for their work, but people are dying here. Literally. I wonder how many people get their tests back too late? Mom’s in pretty good shape, but she can’t wait around forever. If Duke were allowed to run the test, they would have had it back already. There needs to be a line drawn between making money and helping sick people. These drug and “health” companies are really getting to me.
Something else that’s getting to me are all the people who are suddenly experts on holistic medicine and “natural” foods. I know everyone means well, but sometimes folks are misinformed. I can’t believe some of the stuff coming through this house. For example, Mom was given a study about how red wine and chocolate can fight cancer, so she’s now drinking liquid dark chocolate. Antioxidants are good for you and all, but eating chocolate is not going to be a cure. Might lift the mood, though!!
I was macrobiotic for a couple of years, and I did a TON of research about it. It’s known as “the cancer diet” because so many people who had been diagnosed with cancer have been cured solely by following the strict version of the diet. In fact, all of these “holistic cure” programs follow a very similar diet regimen. The key is to eat whole, natural, organic foods. That’s it. All the programs vary in terms of what to eat when, how much of which macro-nutrient to eat, etc., but they’re all recommending the same thing. Whole, natural, organic, hormone-free, crap-free, as little processed food as possible. I am not claiming that I can heal my mother by stepping her through the macrobiotic diet. For one, I haven’t been trained, and I only know what works for me. But I am going to say that without a doubt, eating a whole, natural, organic diet will help her to heal. I feel 100% confident in that. So all of this “natural” stuff that’s full of crap needs to go.
I learned about The Gerson Therapy, which follows an organic vegan diet, through the documentary The Beautiful Truth. They claim to have scientific proof that they healed folks who were turned away from places like Hopkins and the Mayo Clinic as terminal. The only thing I don’t like about the sounds of this is the enema they recommend, but just the thought of enemas grosses me out anyway!! But there are a lot of alternative treatments out there with proof. It can’t hurt to blend this with Western medicine. Eating a clean diet can only do good.
And I swear it can taste good too! This book here by Jessica Porter is a great example of how to make everyday “junk” food with whole-food replacements.
Okay, enough of the rant.
I shared the link to this blog on Facebook, which mom didn’t want me to do originally, but since SHE did, I figured I could as well. 😉 Besides more prayers, which are very much welcomed and needed, something else great came out of it: a new friend. I learned that a classmate of mine suffered along with her mother as she battled breast and ovarian cancer, and lost. This friend told me she was there if I ever needed to talk. It’s nice to know there’s someone there who has gone through something similar. But the pain I saw in her eyes when she talked about her mother and the cancer was deep and raw, perhaps a foreshadowing of what’s in my future. I don’t know.
The final essay I wrote for my non-fiction workshop was on grief and loss. I hadn’t learned about mom’s cancer when I started writing it. I thought it was going to be a comparison of funerals, grief, and loss in Lesotho and America. But “the thing absolutely worth knowing,” as my professor eloquently stated, was the difference of how grief is carried in both places. (And I know I can’t generalize about ALL of America…a Mennonite classmate said their funerals very much mirrored the funerals I described from Lesotho.) But my experience with grief and loss here is that it is a very individual thing. People are expected to mourn in private and to outwardly show strength and to smile and accept the “I’m sorry for your loss” commiserations. In Lesotho, the grief was communal, shared by everyone, and expressed by many. Everyone participated in the burial. I felt more able to express the grief I felt, and the tears I shed there came from a deeper place.
I guess my point is that I feel able to share my sadness with this friend, even though we haven’t talked much about this yet. I felt that some of the pain I saw in her eyes was also for me and for my family since she knew exactly what we were going through.
Anyway, thanks again for reading my rambling thoughts. I appreciate your time and your prayers and positive thoughts. Today’s a good day. Let’s hope for thousands more.
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