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Dream

I had a dream last night where I was with a group of people somewhere near an ocean. We went for a walk, and I went out ahead on my own. There was a beach and a kind of steep hillside or cliff with black stones that were kind of crumbly. I was walking along the shore, but it was really muddy, so my feet sank in and I almost lost my shoes. I waded back through the water to clean them off, then started climbing up the hill. I got almost to the top before the group started to catch up. As they warned me not to go up there, I noticed that all the stones were loose, so there was a large chance I would fall. I scrambled up quickly and made it to the top.

I sat up there, and someone joined me. I pulled out a journal like the ones I used in Lesotho (the Moleskine ones). I was writing, then got to the page where the little black bookmark strip was. When I turned to that page, I saw that my mom had written there. It was clearly her handwriting. I didn’t catch what was on the right-hand page, but the left-hand page began with a note. She apologized for writing in my journal (that’s a big no-no with me!), saying that she couldn’t find anywhere else to write, no other paper. At the bottom, she left a note in Sesotho. I recognized most of the sentence, but it ended with a word I didn’t know repeated three times (and the word is nonsense in real life, though amazingly I think the rest of the sentence was actually correct). I asked someone around me what the word was, and that person said it meant “so.”

The message translated into something like, “I just want you to know that I still love you so, so, so.”

I woke up then, crying.

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