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Posts Tagged ‘easter’

Easter weekend came and went without too much of a fuss, although I will confess that it was full of adventure. I had Friday off, so I worked out, had lunch with dad, and used one of my coupons for a mini-massage and facial. That was nice. Then the boy and I went out to eat with an old acquaintance of mine from college and her guy, who was in for the weekend.

The boy’s band practice was canceled, so we slept in late on Saturday and then went to see Act of Valor. It wasn’t bad. Definitely not the best acting I’ve ever seen, but that’s because they supposedly used real SEALs as actors. The action scenes were pretty much just like watching Modern Warfare or some of these other war video games, which reinforced my belief that those games are just getting the next generation of soldiers prepared for battle. I mean, you could pretty much throw any regular 12-year-old boy into combat these days and he’d know what to do. Scary.

I made dinner Saturday night, and then we went for a walk around the lake. It’s nice at night. Less people. We only do half of the trail, so we turn around at the boardwalk by the road. We stopped there to talk for a little while, and then I was like, “There’s somebody standing over there.” The boy said, “He has a camera.” Odd. So we walked over. It was a young Asian guy who did indeed have a very expensive camera set up on a tripod. The boy asked what he was doing, and he said that he was waiting for the full moon, which, according to the internet, should have arrived by 9:08 p.m. It was 9:11. So, having nothing much better to do, we decided to wait for the moon. And it was worth it. We watched this huge full moon rise over the treeline until it was reflected in the still lake below. Absolutely beautiful. I bet that kid got some amazing shots.

Dad had given me a present to open on Easter, so I dug into it around 12:30 a.m. Of course, it was a stuffed bunny.

He also gave me a plastic egg with three Reese’s mini cups. Perfect. I got to enjoy some Easter candy without the temptation to binge on an entire bag. It was altogether an extremely thoughtful gift. I have the best dad in the world.

We slept in late again Sunday. The boy went home and I cleaned my apartment. I think a Happy Easter was had by all, as evidenced by this text I received from the boy’s bassist:

The boy’s mom invited me over for dinner, so I went out there in the early evening. It was nice. I like spending time with them and having a mom-like person to talk with. I drank a bit too much of her boxed wine and have been paying for it today, but otherwise, it was a good evening.

I feel so thankful for my dad and for the boy and his family. I’m thankful for the support and the acceptance and the love. That’s what Easter’s all about to me, anyway: family and love. And I got a lot of both.

 

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Easter Bunnies

I noticed on my work calendar that we have this Friday off. It’s marked as “Spring Holiday.”

“What’s this arbitrary ‘Spring Holiday’?” I wondered.

“It’s code for ‘Good Friday,'” replied my Jewish co-worker.

Ah. Easter. I’d totally forgotten.

Easter was always mom’s holiday. New dresses and spring shoes. White hats. Hidden plastic eggs that got lost in sofa cushions for decades. Once I left home, it was mostly a matter of guilting me into going to church. But one thing was consistent: a stuffed bunny. Mom got me a stuffed bunny every year. One year, when I was around 10 or so, mom thought I was too old to want a stuffed bunny, so she gave me this ceramic Peter Rabbit thing. I cried for hours. She took me right out to the toy store, and I came home with this bunny pillow (maybe a distance ancestor of the new pillow pets) that I treasured for years. She never failed to get me a stuffed bunny after that. Last year, she gave me an embroidered pillow that says something like, “A daughter is just a little girl who grows up into a good friend.” I keep it on my papasan chair.

As sad as this is–that it’s going to be the first time in at least 30 years that I haven’t gotten a stuffed bunny–at least I won’t have to go to church.

 

It’s been a good week so far. Yes, it’s only about noon on Tuesday, but I had a great day yesterday and a good morning today. This is good. I hit what I think is rock bottom this weekend. If I can’t pull things around now, I’m scared I never will. And that’s a crappy feeling. Desperation. My spin instructor said that if I can make it a full two weeks, I’ll be fine. So I guess that will be my benchmark. Two weeks. One day at a time. Sounds like I’m in AA.

I’m lucky to have people who believe in me. Friends who remind me of my inner core of strength and the fact that I’m “smart enough to realize the consequence of what happens if [I] give in.” A boyfriend who listens and makes me laugh. Co-workers who have been where I’ve been and who are making an effort to include me in things (you’d be amazed how nice it is to be remembered when folks in the other building go out for lunch).

I still miss mom every day. You know, my friend from graduate school posted something on Facebook last week: “I love getting good news, but I always want to share it with my mom. Just picked up the phone to call her. Can’t believe it will be 3 years in May.” This is never going to go away or get easier. It’s just a matter of acceptance, I suppose. Being here now and not letting thoughts immolate. We all do what we can. And we try to support each other along the way. I guess that’s all we can ask for.

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